I contemplated starting a blog before I left to help me deal with all the overwhelming emotions I was feeling, whether I published it or not.

But I didn’t.

Per usual, I kept putting it off (along with a lot of other things) and then before I knew it I was gone. I am in Ireland, sitting in a cafe, not really sure what to do with myself from day to day. I’m here to work for a year but haven’t found a job yet. I’ve wandered the city numerous times and seen some of the places I really wanted to see so now what do I do? I don’t want to just sit in the hostel and do nothing so most days I go from coffee shop to wandering to coffee shop. Applying for jobs, looking for housing, and trying not to feel unbearably lonely.

I have never traveled on my own. I went into New York City by myself for two days once but I was staying with a family that I knew pretty well so at the end of the day I wasn’t really alone. I hated it. The first day was fine. I got to do things that I wanted to do, not worrying about anyone else’s wants. By the second day I was just bored and I LOVE New York. I wanted to talk to someone. I wanted to share the experiences with someone.

So this moving to Ireland thing is WAY out of my comfort zone. I have never been to Ireland. I don’t know a single person who lives here. I am not the type of person to strike up a conversation with the stranger next to me. I enjoy talking to people but only when I kind of know them (or if I’m at work, kill that customer service). I know once I meet some people I will be a little less lonely. I know when I find a job I will be a little less bored.

But for now, I will just try to keep myself busy.

After all, isn’t this why I decided to do this?

Amanda Adkisson

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